Sacred Sexuality: An LDS Perspective on Intimacy, Desire, and the Body

In LDS theology, the body is sacred. The creation is good. Marriage is an eternal covenant. Sexuality, within that covenant, is meant to be a sacred expression of love, intimacy, and even spiritual connection. And yet, for many LDS individuals and couples, the lived experience of sexuality is anything but sacred — it’s wrapped in shame, silence, confusion, and pain. Understanding what “sacred sexuality” actually means — from both a theological and psychological perspective — can transform LDS marriages.

What Does LDS Theology Actually Say About Sexuality?

LDS doctrine teaches that the physical body is a gift, that human beings are created in God’s image, and that sexual intimacy within marriage is meant to be a profound expression of love and union. The family proclamation describes the physical body as essential to God’s plan. LDS scripture speaks of the joy of embodied existence. Far from condemning sexuality, LDS theology actually positions marital intimacy as something sacred and beautiful.

The problem is often the gap between the theological ideal and the cultural messaging. While official doctrine honors sexuality within marriage, cultural LDS teaching has often been dominated by warnings about impurity, shame-based discussions of chastity, and a pervasive silence about what healthy, joyful marital sexuality actually looks like. Many LDS adults were given the “don’t do it” message their entire lives — and then married with no roadmap for what “do it joyfully and sacredly” means.

Why Shame Interferes with Sacred Sexuality

Shame and sacredness cannot coexist. When sexuality is drenched in shame — when the body feels like a source of danger rather than a sacred gift — intimacy becomes something to be endured rather than a place of genuine union and vulnerability. Research consistently shows that sexual shame is one of the primary factors in low desire, sexual dysfunction, and marital dissatisfaction.

For LDS couples, this shows up as: one partner withdrawing from intimacy because it still feels sinful even in marriage; partners unable to be emotionally present during sex because shame keeps them disconnected from their own bodies; difficulty experiencing pleasure; inability to communicate desires or needs; and a profound loneliness within the marriage even while performing the outward rituals of partnership.

What Sacred Sexuality Looks Like in Practice

Sacred sexuality, in practice, looks like partners who can be fully present with each other — emotionally, physically, and spiritually — during intimacy. It looks like the ability to give and receive pleasure without shame. It looks like honest communication about desires, needs, and boundaries. It looks like curiosity rather than anxiety about your own body and your partner’s. It looks like intimacy that deepens rather than disconnects the relationship.

This is possible for LDS couples — even those who have spent years in shame, silence, or disconnection around sexuality. The work of moving toward sacred sexuality involves healing the shame messages, learning the language of intimacy, and building genuine emotional safety with your partner. It requires a therapeutic approach that honors both psychological reality and spiritual values.

Working Toward Sacred Sexuality in Your LDS Marriage

If you and your partner are struggling with sexual intimacy — whether that’s low desire, disconnection, shame, or simply never having built a healthy sexual relationship — therapy can help. Working with a therapist who understands both LDS culture and sexual health means you don’t have to choose between your faith and your healing.

Daniel Burgess, LMFT works with LDS individuals and couples in Utah — both in-person and online — using a sex-positive, shame-informed approach to building genuine sexual intimacy within marriage. The sexual intimacy your marriage deserves is possible. Schedule a free consultation to begin.