What causes a sexless marriage?

Sexless marriages develop for many reasons. Common causes include mismatched sex drives, unresolved conflict or emotional distance, sexual shame from religious upbringing, past sexual trauma, postpartum changes, health conditions, pornography use patterns, stress and exhaustion, or avoidance cycles that developed over time. Often, there is more than one contributing factor, and understanding the specific roots in your relationship is a crucial first step toward healing.

Can a sexless marriage be fixed?

Yes - in many cases. The key is that both partners are willing to engage honestly with the real issues and do the work in therapy. Couples who approach sexless marriage counseling with openness often see significant improvements in both their emotional intimacy and physical connection. The timeline varies, but change is possible even in marriages where intimacy has been absent for years.

How does religious upbringing contribute to a sexless marriage?

Many LDS and religious couples enter marriage with deep shame or anxiety about sex, despite genuinely wanting physical intimacy. Purity culture messages do not automatically disappear on the wedding night. This often results in avoidance, performance anxiety, or one or both partners shutting down sexually. Therapy helps couples understand these root messages and replace shame with curiosity, safety, and genuine connection.

Is sex therapy the same as marriage counseling?

They overlap but are not identical. Sex therapy specifically focuses on sexual issues - desire discrepancy, sexual function, intimacy avoidance, sexual shame - while marriage counseling addresses the broader relationship. In most cases of sexless marriage, both are needed, because intimacy problems rarely exist in isolation from the rest of the relationship. Daniel integrates both approaches, addressing sexual dynamics within the context of your full relationship system.

Do both partners need to attend sexless marriage counseling?

Ideally, both partners attend sessions together. However, individual therapy can also be valuable - particularly if you want to explore your own history, patterns, or feelings before or alongside couples work. If your spouse is reluctant, starting alone is still a meaningful step, and many partners become more open to joining once therapy is underway.

Do you offer online sexless marriage counseling?

Yes. Daniel offers online sexless marriage counseling and sex therapy for couples throughout Utah. Online sessions offer privacy and convenience - especially important for couples dealing with sensitive sexual topics they may prefer to discuss from the comfort and safety of their own home.

Sexless Marriage Counseling & Sex Therapy for Couples

Is physical and emotional intimacy missing from your marriage? You’re not alone—and it’s not hopeless. Sexless marriage counseling with Daniel Burgess, LMFT helps couples understand the roots of sexual disconnection and rebuild genuine intimacy, desire, and partnership.

A sexless marriage is defined as one where sex occurs fewer than 10 times per year. It affects an estimated 15-20% of couples. Whether the disconnection stems from mismatched libidos, past sexual trauma, religious shame, pornography use, physical health issues, or unresolved relationship conflict, therapy can help you identify the real causes and create a path forward.

Daniel Burgess brings a sex-positive, shame-free approach that is especially attuned to the unique intimacy challenges faced by LDS and religious couples. With 15+ years of clinical experience, he helps couples move from resentment and avoidance to authentic connection—without judgment about your faith, values, or history.

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Common Questions About Sexless Marriage Counseling & Sex Therapy

Sexless marriages develop for many reasons. Common causes include mismatched sex drives, unresolved conflict or emotional distance, sexual shame from religious upbringing, past sexual trauma, postpartum changes, health conditions, pornography use patterns, stress and exhaustion, or avoidance cycles that developed over time. Often, there is more than one contributing factor, and understanding the specific roots in your relationship is a crucial first step toward healing.
Yes—in many cases. The key is that both partners are willing to engage honestly with the real issues and do the work in therapy. Couples who approach sexless marriage counseling with openness often see significant improvements in both their emotional intimacy and physical connection. The timeline varies, but change is possible even in marriages where intimacy has been absent for years.
Many LDS and religious couples enter marriage with deep shame or anxiety about sex, despite genuinely wanting physical intimacy. Purity culture messages—that sex is dirty, that desire is sinful, that the body must be controlled—don’t automatically disappear on the wedding night. This often results in avoidance, performance anxiety, or one or both partners shutting down sexually. Therapy helps couples understand these root messages and replace shame with curiosity, safety, and genuine connection.
They overlap but are not identical. Sex therapy specifically focuses on sexual issues—desire discrepancy, sexual function, intimacy avoidance, sexual shame—while marriage counseling addresses the broader relationship. In most cases of sexless marriage, both are needed, because intimacy problems rarely exist in isolation from the rest of the relationship. Daniel integrates both approaches, addressing sexual dynamics within the context of your full relationship system.
Ideally, both partners attend sessions together. However, individual therapy can also be valuable—particularly if you want to explore your own history, patterns, or feelings before or alongside couples work. If your spouse is reluctant, starting alone is still a meaningful step, and many partners become more open to joining once therapy is underway.
Yes. Daniel offers online sexless marriage counseling and sex therapy for couples throughout Utah. Online sessions offer privacy and convenience—especially important for couples dealing with sensitive sexual topics they may prefer to discuss from the comfort and safety of their own home.