Anonymous Questions
Anonymous Questions
Whenever I am invited to speak or present a workshop, I provide the participants an opportunity to ask anonymous questions. It has been a valuable experience to hear the weighty, raw and real concerns of those who are struggling for answers. After presenting for five years now, the questions appear to have similar themes. Also, it is very clear that these concerns are not unique and many would value from the answers.
I have chosen to leave the questions exactly as written/asked. I believe it's important to read the emotion in the way it was asked. Therefore, I have decided to share those responses and have included below, in what will eventually function as a table of contents, sorted alphabetically by topic.
When a question has been answered, I will link the question to its blog post.
Learn more about my presentations here.
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“Addiction” — Pornography And Sexual-Related Issues
Q: Why does the church's ARP program assume that men are addicts and women are "related to addicts"? It is SO difficult to find a women's support group.
A: Coming soon.
Q: What is your advice to females who have watched pornography or masturbate?
A: This is actually two different questions.
Q: If someone has watched pornography or masturbated in the past, do you feel they are obligated to tell their future spouse? Does it depend on how long ago it was?
A: Transparency In All Things
Q: I used porn years ago to numb problems and feelings and am now in a much better place. I try to be open about this in relationships with girls. Some take it well but most do not. It's difficult to be vulnerable not knowing how they will respond, so I am less likely to pursue relationships. What should I do?
A: Multiple answers:
Communication
Q: How do I keep communication alive when two partners hold opposing viewpoints on things (with the potential to constantly disagree with each other)?
A: Marital Myth of Communication
Q: What kind of marriage partnerships have you seen that are the the happiest? Give some examples of how they work through times of disagreement or misunderstanding.
A:
Dating / Marring Outside Of Faith
Q: I am a 40+ women and still single. I have a hard time finding quality prospect who wants to be married. How to find joy without ignoring my faith and reality?
A:
Q: I met a man who is generous, grateful, patient and compassionate but knew nothing about my faith, which is important for me. Is happiness possible with such a person who does not believe in Christ?
A:
Q: Would different faiths work out in a marriage?
A:
Divorce / Break up
Q: When do you suggest that a problematic/troubled partnership separate? Or keep them together?
A: Because I Loved Her, I Left Her
Q: How do you successfully break up with someone that you see no potential with?
A: Because I Loved Her, I Left Her
Q: When does being separated or divorced with kids and get easier?
A: Coming soon.
Q: I’m separated and divorce is taking a while. Is it bad to start dating or start talking to a guy?
A: Coming soon.
Emotional Abuse
Q: My husband gets jealous about Facebook likes, emojis, and comments I get from other men who are just friends. How do you recommend dealing with such situations?
A: Jealousy and Social Media
Family Systems
Q: How does one work through one's own childhood/parental negative behavior patterns influenced by one's own upbringing which manifest later in dating/marriage relationships?
A: Coming soon.
Homosexuality
Q: How can queer members of the church live authentically while still trying to be a part of the church?
A: Coming soon.
Marital Sex
Q: What would you do if you had a sick spouse you loved but was unable to perform sex due to illness?
A: Sex and Illness
Mental Health
Q: How to date someone who has medicated but chronic depression, anxiety, and panic attacks?
A: Coming soon.
Q: Is it better for certain people with mental instability, like psychopathy, sociopath, narcissism, to stay unmarried?
A: Coming soon.
Q: When is the best time to tell your new boyfriend or if you are dating about your diagnosis?
I'm scared to date because I have mental health issues such as depression and bipolar disorder. How can I over come this? Or some tips on what to do.
A: Coming soon.
Q: I am having a tough time maintaining close companionship with the Spirit with all this uncontrollable chaos around me. How can I strive to feel the Spirit when I cannot control some of my circumstances?
A: Coming soon.
Q: How do you stand strong on stigma of mental health?
A: Coming soon.
Q: What if you're not okay with your past? What do you do?
A: Coming soon.
Personality Types in Relationships
Q: How do you make things work between an unlikely pair in which each partner's Myers Briggs letters are completely the opposite? (the second letter, iNtuitive vs Sensing, make it hard to understand each other's view points.)
A: Coming soon.
Q: How to make "the wrong" partnerships "right"?
A: Coming soon.
Single
Q: Is it unrighteous to enjoy being single?
A: 1) Coming soon. 2) Subdivisions in the Celestial Kingdom
Self-Care
Q: Is making my little brother a priority over ward activities because of a fear of social instances okay?
A: Coming soon.